Staying In Love

Notes: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fjr5_6Hcq6PnLa3KxwZVxbX5W6PAfrVM/view?usp=sharing

REAL TALK – 1

STAYING IN LOVE

 

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96% of Americans will marry – 38% will divorce

79% of those will remarry – 44% will divorce again

Nearly half of all marriages fall apart in first 3 years

 

United States has the highest divorce rate in the world

 

How are today’s marriages doing?

 

DYING: 50-60%

SURVIVING: 35%

THRIVING: 15%

 

WHAT GOES WRONG IN A MARRIAGE – THE MYTHS WE BUY INTO

 

1.   The myth of COMPATIBILITY.

 

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“So called incompatibility is a myth invented by jurists in order to plead for divorce. It is likewise just a common excuse for people to use to hide their own failings. Misunderstandings and mistakes can be corrected when there is a willingness to do so. The issue is not incompatibility; the issue is selfishness, stubbornness, unwilling to compromise, unwilling to change, unwilling to work to save the relationship. Don’t call it incompatibility, call it what it is – self – centeredness”.  

– Paul Tournier, To Understand Each Other

 

2.   The myth of SMOOTH SAILING.

 

3.   The myth of GREENER PASTURES.

 

4.   The myth of PROBLEM-FREE MARRIAGES.

 

5.   The myth that CHANGE for the better is IMPOSSIBLE.

 

Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’  

 

Psalm 127:1 Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.

 

(Screen only) How a relationship deteriorates:

Romance -> Reality -> Rut -> Resentment -> Regret

 

The 3 Stages of Marriage:

1.   The HONEYMOON Stage. (Song of Solomon 4)

 

 

2.   The DESPAIR Stage. (Proverbs 27)

 

·     Break UP

·     Break DOWN

·     Break THROUGH

 

3.   The DEEPER LOVE Stage. (1 Corinthians 13)

 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind…It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

 

·     Love is not an emotion you FEEL but a state you CREATE.

 

Key Steps:

 

1.   OPEN up.

James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

 

2.   GIVE up.

Hebrews 12:1 “…throw off everything that hinders.”

 

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1.   Silent treatment.

2.   Threatening to walk out.

3.   Sarcasm – ridicule.

4.   Unhealthy relationships.

5.   Blame.

 

3.   LOOK up.

Psalm 127:1 Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.