Jordan Peterson meets Jesus Sermon Podcast 07 – Raising our kids to flourish
Published November 4, 2018 at 11:00 AM
Anyone who says parenting is easy either has never done it or is not particularly good at it. But while it is hard, it can be done well and we can take steps to help our kids flourish and become all that God meant for them to be. Today we look at what secular psychologist Jordan Peterson has to say about raising kids and how that relates to the ancient wisdom of the scriptures. Join us as we learn to “say no to brats, helicopters, and lawn mowers, and yes to skateboards, dress up, and ‘good enough’.”
Content Copyright Belongs to Langdon Palmer
RESOURCES FOR THIS PODCAST:
SCRIPTURES REFERENCED IN THIS PODCAST
Ephesians 6: 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the nurture and instruction of the Lord.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (this is a principle not a promise)
1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
Matthew 11:29 “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
QUESTIONS TO PONDER:
How could you be more consistent with a child in your life ?
Are you more likely to fail this child by treating them as older or younger than they actually are ?
NOTE SHEET FROM SERMON:
Raising our Kids to Flourish!
LEVERINGTON CHURCH November 4th
The primary job of a parent is to MEDIATE the world to their children.
This includes protecting them from our own anxiety.
Don’t let your child do anything that makes you dislike them
I am not my child’s BUDDY nor am I their DRILL SARGENT. Between Lenient and Authoritarian parenting lies AUTHORITATIVEparenting. It has ONLY rules that are actually NECESSARY, and LOTS of love. It takes much more EFFORT than either of the other two.
Appropriate Generational Boundaries means:
My child is not a little ADULT nor an EXTENSION of me. Two of the best gifts I can give my child are a CONSISTENT home life and a willingness to give them my time and enter into their WORLD. My goal is not to be the PERFECT parent but the GOOD ENOUGHParent.
Don’t bother children when they are skateboarding
Lawn Mower Parents:
I need to let my kids make CHOICES and take RISKS that are neither too big nor too small, but rather age appropriate.
Start both POLITENESS and a pattern of “Forced Family FUN” at an early age so they learn “This is the way we do life.”
If you put the hard work in at ages 2-6, the teen years will go much better.
“Never say no to all the dreams and creative ideas your children have. Never say no to the realization you can become different than your mom or dad. Especially never say no to your kids’ request to join them, like playing dress up [with a little one] or going surfing with your teenager when the weather’s cold and windy. If you say no too often, they’ll stop asking… This shifts our perspective from a negative scrutiny of children’s conduct to positively enjoying our kids. We believe strengthening an authentic bond between parent and child leads to cooperation in all areas of life. So we aren’t endorsing permissiveness or leniency – far from it… just to move beyond reactionary noes to proactive yeses. Behavior often takes care of itself when we focus on having a healthy relationship…We don’t endorse making a child the bright sun of the family universe, indulging every immature wish. No child can truly know who he or she is by looking within, living solely for self. Our narcissist culture is shrinking our kids… We all need an outside reference point: to love and be loved. Our children need to see their meaningful roles in a bigger story that is outside of their small lives. Its’ the grand scheme of a loving God who says yes to having eternal relationships with us.” – Mark & Jan Foreman in Never say No
”Don’t let your child do anything that makes you dislike them… You can discipline your children, or you can turn that responsivity over to the harsh, uncaring judgmental world – and the motivation for the latter decision should never be confused with love. If a child had not been taught to behave properly by the age of four, it will forever be difficult for him or her to make friends. Poorly socialized children have terrible lives. Clear rules make for secure children and calm rational parents… Limit the number of rules and use the least force necessary to enforce those rules… What no means is always “If you continue to do that, something you do not like will happen to you.” Otherwise it means nothing. Or worse, it means “all adults are ineffectual and weak.” An angry child should sit by himself until he calms down. Then he should be allowed to return to normal life. The rule is “Come be with us as soon as you can behave properly” This is a very good deal for child, parent, and society… Parents should understand their own capacity to be harsh, vengeful, arrogant, resentful, angry and deceitful. Ten minutes after a pair of all-too-nice patient parents have failed to prevent a public tantrum at the local supermarket, they will pay their toddler back with the cold shoulder when he runs up, excited, to show mom and dad his newest accomplishment…Don’t bother children when they are skateboarding…they aren’t trying to be safe… They are trying to become competent – and it is competence that makes people as safe as they can truly be… When things are made too safe, people (including children) start to figure out ways to make them dangerous again…Overprotected, unformed, careless – we will fail when something dangerous, unexpected and full of opportunity suddenly makes its appearance, as it inevitably will.“ – Jordan Peterson in 12 Rules for Life
MANAGING YOUR CAREER, PARENTING STYLES, and the EFFECT OF SOCIAL MEDIA AND DEVICES
The following career video is actually extremely helpful in terms of:
1. What does helicopter parenting actually produce ?
2. Why do I feel so unfulfilled at work ?
3. Why am I so addicted to media ?
4. How much of a gatekeeper between my kids and media and phones and social media should I really be ?
You can see the whole series here:
You can get Small Group discussion resources here:
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This podcast builds upon (and hopefully does not distort too badly) the work of Jordan Peterson in "12 Rules for Life"